It's 4.19a.m in the morning and I am sitting in front of my computer screen in the lab. Both of us are gazing at each other wondering who is a bigger ass. The one who never gets to sleep (my computer screen)or the other who is somehow overworked (me). While I am writing this post, I am also listening to an eternal number from the legendary Md. Rafi, the song being "Pukarta Chala Hoon Main". With the pin drop silence all around me at this point of time, and an etarnal chartbuster harmonising my decaying grey cells, poignancy seems to be getting the better of me and I close my eyes to let myself afloat into Nothingness. Lucid memories stand right in front of my eyes, about the times when dad would play these very numbers in our only available tape recorder on a Sunday afternoon while the entire family had lunch in that small flat of ours. Togetherness was the key then, with soulful melodies and with the family. As I stand to grow more professional, spending obnoxious amounts of time preparting for the next big deal, I am very badly missing my Mom and Dad besides me. Am I simply being a poltroon, afraid of taking on the world alone ? Or am I doing just the diametrical, trying to take on the world where the victory is Pyrrhic ? I want to unwind in my Mom's seamless lap, and feel the warmth of my Dad's affectionate hug, not because I am feeling lost in a cavernous world, but because I am missing them badly.
Meanwhile, Md. Rafi's soulful Pukaar is pretty much over and I have successfully descended from Nothingness to my Excel sheet.
3 comments:
Hi Bro,
Looks like you have really stretched yourself this time. The fact that you are on a long and arduous road to greatness in a city which is almost like a second home without a soul to talk to must be really killing you. Remember, the night is darkest just before dawn. The sunlight of achievement is just round the corner. Hang in there my friend.
Yeah man !! sometimes its looks like I am residing on the poles and the darkness has just arrived !
Brilliant post Indra. We have all felt like this. This mad rat race- we have no idea why we run around like headless chickens trying to get that elusive pot of gold.
-Dada
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