Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Shit Happens !!

The government fought tooth and nail against the “I am Anna” motion and in the process turned it into a commotion. I say MMS (beloved Man Mohan Singh) could have instead asked his cabinet colleagues to come out and sing “I am Anna” and wear the “Anna topi” in unison with the rest of the country. MMS can be pardoned for not being able to wear the “Anna topi” for technical reasons beyond his control ! :-)
Playing to the tune of “I am Anna” had so many benefits that CONgress failed to see... at least it could have obliterated its past sins and a few current ones like promoting Rahul Baba as the next PM in making. 
Never the less CONgress by saying “I am Anna” could have seen the other benefits of supporting the cause, beyond the of course feel good factor of supporting a genuinely National sentiment. The following are the benefits that CCC failed to C ( Congress Core Committee failed to See).

(1)    Let’s say Congress supported the cause and requested the countrymen to show solidarity with Anna by skipping at least 1 meal for a day.
Now if we do the elementary maths this is where we stand with basic assumptions that a person has only “dal” and “chawal” i.e lentils and rice for food.
If we assume:
100 gms of rice and 50 gms of lentils for 1 meal / person
Population of India = 1.2 billion (1.2B)
(-)
 People who don’t have access to 2 meals a day = 50% of 1.2 billion = 600 million (600M)
Therefore, the people who can skip a meal a day = 600 million (600M)
So the total food saved = 600M * (100gms rice + 50gms lentils)
                                    = 60M Kg rice & 30M Kg lentils
                                    = 60000 tons of rice & 30000tons of lentils
Assuming India produced around 100M tons of rice in 2010-11 and expects a similar production this year, per quarter rice production translates into 25M tons.
Similarly, considering chana dal’s (assuming that is the cheapest dal) production in India is around 6M tons per year, per quarter production translates into 1.5M tons.

Thus, 60000tons of rice saved by skipping a single meal = 0.24% quarterly production.
Similarly 30000 tons of lentils saved by skipping a single meal = 2% quarterly dal production.
Now, assuming agricultural growth to be around 4%, 0.24% = 6% extra rice in a single quarter. On the same token, 2% = 50% extra lentils in a single quarter.

With 8% sudden increase in rice production and 50% in lentil production there will be a sudden spike in supply in the markets. With people not changing their fooding habits overnight, demand for these two items shall remain constant. This will lead to a huge demand – supply mismatch, with supply more than demand. As market forces come into play, suddenly prices of rice and dal would reduce leading to a dip in inflationary pressures. Now, hoarders who typically play a huge role in increasing inflation will be forced to book profits before prices dip further. So, they will offload a lot of rice and dal saved in there go-downs. This offloading will further add to extra supply of the two items in the market, leading to further reduction in prices and thus causing a further dip in inflation. This has the potential of bringing down inflation by at least 2% points to around the 6% figure. Congress could have then used this sudden reduction in inflation as a marketing tactic and proclaimed Sharad Pawar was doing enough to save the country and not just busy looting it. Reduced inflation would have attracted FIIs and FDIs into the country promoting overall growth, taking India towards achieving 9% annual growth and leaving Prabab Babu a happy and gay man. Rahul Baba who already feels gay all the time would have been gay-er by finding an old-fidget by his side.

(2) Beyond the financial reasons, CONgress could have promoted peace, harmony and secularity among the countrymen. With Ramzan round the corner it could have b(r)ought the muslim populace’s vote as promoting the idea of skipping meals which would have attracted Bukari to make some amiable comments.

(3) Simultaneously, it could have also used the occasion to promote good health. Yogi’s have since ages said skipping a meal sometimes is good for health. That would have been some challenge to the www.DesiBaba.Ramdev

(4)  Finally and most importantly it could have saved some embarrassment from its DKBose coterie (D – Digvijay Singh and K – Kapil Sibal). If Bose seems like an appendix then it can be read as D(ic)K as well. 

In the meantime Pranab Babu has come out strongly in support of the “I am Anna” campaign and declared his assets as the effect of inflation can be seen on his depreciating wealth – from over Rs2crores couple of years ago to just over Rs12 lakh now.  While he seems to be going through emotions of deep loss a different motion seems to have got a privilege in the parliament. And my bowel says “offer open for a limited period only” – Apply Soon. SHIT Happens..

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